pennylane: the eternal optimist

Thursday, August 25, 2005

30 going on 3

i turned 30...and there's no turning back. it's not a big deal for some but for me it's quite something. not just because i have managed to stay sane for the past 30 years of my existence but because another chapter has started...a new story is about to unfold.

so what have i learned about myself & life in general while i roamed the streets of this earth the past 30 years...

  • i know what i want & i know how to get most of it, though there are times i question my motives...in the end, the objective becomes trivial when the possible results start flashing through your mind...that's when you're transported back to the time you were a terrible 3-year old --- I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!!

  • you may be born thin, you may go through your adolescent years looking like a traumatized poster girl for anorexia (even though you're not), but when you reach your mid-20s, the weighing scale becomes one of your worst enemies & those cream puffs you always see have decided not to touch base with you anymore

  • i have been going through life thinking i have the power to change everything, particularly those that i feel strongly for...it took me more than a couple of years to realize that some things --- no matter how noble your cause may be --- just won't budge

  • most of the major decisions i have done in the past are results of emotional starvation...in time, i learned how to condition myself not to be too emotionally dependent on others; if there is one thing i have learned the hard way is that no matter how much i give, in the end i would only have my Creator & myself to run to

  • money, they say, is the root of all evil...it is also one of the reasons people go coo-coo, present company included. i never thought earning those nasty little suckers could be so freaking difficult. remember those good old days when we just ask our parents for a bit of allowance here, a little amount of shopping money there...now that i am a parent, i have gone to realize that though shopping may not be a vicious act, hearing it at 5am while you have barely gotten 2 hours of sleep can result to chaos

  • love is a decision, not some emotional state that magically creeps into your system where you wake up one day & it just happens to be there...you decide to love, it's something you control & not the other way around

  • relationships are f&*%$ng hard work; true, i did get my birthday wish (yep, i turned 30 with a boyfriend in the picture) but you know what they always say --- be careful what you wish for...

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